I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
