btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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