You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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