Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
