this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
