she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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