Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
