do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
