I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
is wine microwaveable?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
