So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
