Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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