When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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