I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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