Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
