he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
