I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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