Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
