i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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