I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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