Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
