it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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