Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
