He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
