There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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