Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
