She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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