a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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