i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
not ubering you a puppy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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