for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
