this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
