my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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