If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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