oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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