i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
