I have demons in me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if only i could text you this smell
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
