and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
