Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
