I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
