I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
