I met the friendliest cop last night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
