well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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