Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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