we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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