Don't you send me to vm
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
