My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
