why didn't you poke me back
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
