forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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