A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
