can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
