I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
